Wednesday, February 3, 2010

HIPSTER RUNOFF

HIPSTER RUNOFF

‘I Hate Hipster Porn’ -a rant by a Gen X Vice Hipster

Posted: 03 Feb 2010 11:04 AM PST

Link: http://streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog/i-hate-hipster-porn/


Popular creator of Vice, Gavin McInnes, writes a sensationalist blog post about how he hates ‘hipster porn.’

I think this post is supposed to ‘rile up’ people who take pornography/women’s rights seriously. The writing style is ‘very abrasive and in-ur-face’, a tone that appeals to the Gen X alt demographic. I think his main argument is that ‘real pornstars get paid a lot’ and ‘alt pornstars’ think they are being alt/counterculturey by participating in porn.

This sexist plague began with Scene Queens: Young, punk girls on social networks who put up titillating pictures of themselves for free. They get thousands of friends and often correspond with them online. I'd never allow my daughter to do this but it's not the end of the world. I don't even think I'd call it misogynist. Unfortunately, once this became cool, a new wave of pornography took hold. Websites like Suicide Girls (the Playboy of the genre) and Burning Angel (the very NSFW version) popped up and convinced even MORE girls it was hip to pose nude for next to nothing. They weren't porn stars they were "pin-ups" and the whole thing was lumped in with Roller Derby and Burlesque as a fun and empowering way to show your Girl Power. Pornographic video jumped on the bandwagon and guys like Eon McKai (named after the singer of a punk band from the 80s) has convinced a whole new generation of girls porn isn't porn. But it is porn. And porn is supposed to pay. Real porn stars hate hipster porn because they see it as rich kids devaluing the sex dollar for laughs. You're not supposed to get $100 to have sex on camera. You're supposed to get $1,500. These girls are stepping into the ring with Mike Tyson and getting knocked out for free again and again.

Do yall ever pleasure urself to hipster porn, or do u just like big mainstream fake tits + round asses?
Does the ‘Gen X Vice’ brand appeal 2 u, or is it too faux-raw?

Evolving beyond ‘indie music’: The Era of Ternative Music.

Posted: 03 Feb 2010 08:30 AM PST

In search of an authentic aesthetic/genre/content-stream/sample pool of art

Indie is/was/has been/will never be dead.


I feel like ‘everything that needs to be said about indie music has been said’, and now modern music journalists are ‘on cruise control’, writing puff pieces and ‘insightful’ blurbs that make obvious conclusions about the ‘meaningless genre of indie music.’ Sort of like when ‘hipster’ articles were ‘big’ between 2k6-2k11. Music journalists and blog blurbers are important tastemakers, introducing users/consumers to new content/bands/artists. It seems like we/’the altosphere’ has hit a point where the most influential tastemakers must ‘dumb down’ their writing/content/presentation for the mainstream masses.

I feel like ‘indie music’ is probably better than it has ever been, because it has transformed into a corporate arms race. Much like we enjoy watching Super Bowl ads featuring Coca Cola, Pepsi, Toyoto, and Apple, we enjoy watching ‘indie’ bands like Radiohead, Phoenix, MGMT, and Arcade Fires battle for headlines and a larger/deeper ‘reach’ into a mass market of consumers. It seems ‘fun and engaging’ to view the ‘indie’ musicsphere with the same goggles that we view ‘pop culture gossip.’ It is amusing and entertaining. We understand that it is ‘trivial’ and functions as a mode of ‘escapism/warped idealism.’ We enjoy watching artists/humans rise, fall, live, and die. Along the way, we like to ‘laugh out loud’ at them/with them, depending on their public displays of self-awareness.  The most successful indie bands have a talented group of well-connected creative individuals managing + designing their corporate identity.

‘Indie’ is what it is, and we must be strong enough to say that ‘there is nothing wrong with indie’ to break free from the shackles of indie slavery.

Here are some general conclusions/points about ‘the state of indie’ that humans/writers continue to make:

  • We understand that ‘indie’ is corporate.
  • We understand that ‘indie’ doesn’t directly correlate to ‘being associated with an independent label.’
  • The definitive ‘indie’ acts have been harvested by ‘major’ labels and converted into brands which can generate digital sales to tween + cool dad demographics.
  • We understand that ‘indie’ music has become ‘less independent’ over time.
  • The ‘indie’ aesthetic has built a ‘meaningful’ brand that is now difficult to take seriously.
  • ‘Indie’ bands are achieving ‘mainstream success’ because they are ‘a part of the machine.’
  • ‘Maybe hipsters are a lil bit more corporate than they thought they were…’
  • The ‘hype cycle’ is ’such bull shit’
  • ‘Ppl dont even LISTEN 2 music n e more…’
  • The album is dead

As a progressive mp3 writer, I feel ‘bottlenecked’ by the overwhelming ‘obviousness’ of these facts. Like ’so much chatter’ is going on around me as writers/bloggers/twitterers continue to try to express these points in creative + hit-generating ways. I feel like ‘music writing’ as a whole needs to move beyond ‘the elephant in the room’ of ‘indie being mnstrm.’ Since the ‘music review’ has become obsolete with high speed internet services enabling easy streaming/sampling of mp3s, every ‘review’/blurb must display some sort of ‘tongue in cheek’ type of awareness of ‘the global indie climate.’ We only ‘trust’/read the writers who ‘make this clear to us’ in the most direct way possible. Some people just ‘find solace’ in music writers who write about how the song ‘makes their emotions feel.’

It seems like there needs to be a ‘new spirit’/zeitgeist of alternative websites/journalism/blogging in order to move beyond the ‘indie era’ and find/explore exciting new music. There is a serious crisis brewing. Alternative websites will either lose their reach to mainstream gossip blogs that add ‘indie’ coverage of maltstream bands (indie.tmz.com or indie.perezhilton.com), or formerly-alt websites will become ‘mainstream’ sites that function as a deep namedropping database. Some people could make the argument that ‘as long as all of the best music is the most popular, we should be happy.’ This argument is not valid, since we have evolved into early adopter listeners who enjoy an mp3 70% more when we are among the first several thousand people to hear it.

Some sites can cross over into the mainstream as they continue to grow with bands. Other sites must ‘go in a whole new direction’ and actively try to find ‘the new aesthetic.’   MP3 blogs that are already irrelevant hypemachine longtail blogs are generally already a ‘completely lost cause.’

What is the future of indie music websites?

‘Indie’ has become a googlable search term that bands/blogs/websites/humans must associate with their personal profile or webpage if they are trying to build a brand that appeals to people who still honor the term ‘indie’ in a face-valuey kind of way.

It seems like we are at a point where you can either have an ‘indie’ blog/site that is made to get mainstream hits for the next decade, or you have a brand that is ’searching 4 something more.’ I wasn’t alive in the early/mid-2000s, back when ‘indie’ was first exploding, but I imagine it was a special time where mp3s were still valued in the post-CD era, and ‘live shows’ were more difficult to find out about and therefore less populated with entrylevz. Websites who covered the initial indie wave got to come along for the ride, eventually evolving into better business models than a traditional 4-person band (websites can produce content easier than bands). Alt websites had the opportunity to ‘cover something special’: the evolution and growth of new artists who had a new aesthetic/set of ideals to promote. There was probably some sort of ‘genuine’ spirit of excitement back then, which was the foundation of the modern voice of the music writer/blurber/listener (who is now kinda snarky and disenfranchised).

I really don’t see the problem with the ‘indie music’ evolving into a monetizable model, but indie websites have ‘a completely different content/identity/authenticity crisis’ ahead of them.

I honestly believe that it is time for authentic blogs and webzines to either move away from ‘indie’ coverage OR make the bold decision to begin to cover ‘all pop culture elements’ using their voice that they believe readers ‘love’. It seems to make sense that an ‘indie music fan’ might want a ‘pop culture’ dose’ blurbed about in the familiar voice of the standard ‘bro who is pumped about a new release’, a very common voice deployed by many popular indie music websites. I would like to hear that same ‘pumped bro’ voice get jacked up about a new Paris Hilton upskirt shot or maybe have a bro’s perspective on the Heidi Montag surgery.

If the large ‘indie’ music sites don’t generalize their blog/content into ‘culture hubs’ [via pop culture coverage], they run the risk of moving into direct competition with music recommendation websites + communities. The ‘technological ones’ such as Pandora, lala, iTunes, last.fm, and whatever other site that a larger web company recently acquired. Wonder if ‘algorithmic recommendation’ will eventually ‘kill’ music websites, and there will be the same sympathy for music reviews sites that people feel for record stores. Like one day, when our kids tell us that they just ‘listen to their auto-generated recommendations to find new music’, we will tell them that ‘back in the day, we used to go to websites that manually updated who they thought we should listen 2.’  Not sure how long the ‘indie coverage’ niche will last.

The unification of ‘pop culture consumption’ and ‘indie consumption’ under the same umbrella will make it easier to move forward in the authentic pursuit of ‘the best new music on the planet.’

Taking the best elements of indie, and moving forward with them into the new era.

It seems like ’self-respecting’ fans who are in the pursuit of authentic music no longer want to say that they listen to ‘indie music’ because of the complexity of that genre label by moderately aware people. Listing ‘indie’ in your Favorite Music section on facebook could make you the laughing stock of your social network. Listing varied ‘indie’ subgenres can make you seem pretentious. No1 can win because no1 can list what they truly like.

I think most humans want 2 feel excited about music, but feel like there are issues that make the presentation/discussion/sharing of music ‘more complex’ than ever before.

It seems fair to assume that we are looking for music that is 1) ‘good’, 2) new AND 3) created by relatively unknown band/human who has an approachable backstory that makes us believe we can ‘make it’ if we dream. It seems ‘impossible’ to expect a widely read alternative website to write/post/blog about a band that could meet all three of these criteria. It seems like by harvesting buzz bands, large maltstream sites are only looking to perpetuate the ‘indie aesthetic’ because they are plugged into a ‘the machine.’ Consumers can no longer trust these new bands as recommended by large sites because of the context/scale by which they are presented.

It is clear that we are in the thick of an era of perpetuation. I think that there are established models of success and monetization that ‘bands that are trying to be indie’ attempt to replicate. It seems like ‘looking like ur in an indie band’ is sort of a updated version of ‘looking like ur in a rock star.’ The concept of ‘looking like you are in an indie band’ means that you no longer seek widespread fame and fortune, but instead would settle for acceptance by a moderate sized group of people who are aware of cutting edge culture.  Honestly feel like we’re at the point where ‘indie bands’ are manufactured in the same way that Lou Pearlman manufactured NSYNC/BSB/O-Town during the boy band era.

It is up to the consumer to let go of our previous expectations of bands. The mass market will lag behind, but the micromarket is what drives the ‘authentic creative types.’ They know that if there is a receptive market, they will ‘go 2 work.’

We no longer want carbon copies of ‘indie bands’.
We are searching for something ternative.

/////////
The Final Solution
////////
Welcome to the Ternative Era.
//////////

Those who are in search of ‘good, new, authentic’ music will move forward into the Ternative Era.

We will listen to . Ternative is the only way we can ‘embrace indie for what it is’ and differentiate music/aesthetics in the immediate future. All we really needed was a ‘new term’ by which we could differentiate music

Will you take my hand, and transform into a ternative bro with me? (Ternative is already inside of u).

WTF is ternative?

As we enter the post-Vampy Weekend #1 album in the World era, we must mentally prepare ourselves’ for this ‘charting’ phenomenon 3-5 more times in the next year. It seems like when a band ‘charts’ in the top 10 upon their album release, we should call them “” bands, short for Mainstream INDIE. I feel like the term ‘indie’ could be relegated to shitty bands who perpetuate the ‘trying 2 be earnest’ indie aesthetic from the mid-2k0s. Sort of like bros who make a decent product, but don’t really ‘get’ why their music will never reach more than several thousand fans.

Some already exists, but the ternative era will really be prevalent between 2k10.5-2k11.75.  It might be a microtrend ‘frowned down upon’ by music purists, sort of like blog house.  It will be an enjoyable era where music will be fun/chill, and the expectations of turning a band into a sensation will be removed.  Ternative bands will exist, and they will be largely untainted by huge marketing campaigns and gimmicky music videos meant to inspire coverage/social network sharing.

TERNATIVE VS. INDIE EXAMPLES

Part of me wonders if the popular post-indie band Animal Collective were the forefathers of the ternative era. It seems like bloggers would be ‘divided’ about whether they are ‘indie.’ They seem ‘very plugged into the indie machine’, but most bloggers would probably just write a piece about them called ‘The New Indie.’ Feel like that will probably happen in their next album cycle.

I feel like ‘ternative’ music will probably be pretty sample based. Traditional instruments are discouraged. (Indie will always be tied to ‘indie ROCK’, which requires guitars, thereby being more accessible to mainstreamers). The live experience is not required. Unique content besides mp3s would be ‘welcomed’ as long as it wasn’t gimmicky.

Here are some progressive thoughts/statements by which we can begin to think about the ternative era.

  • Animal Collective was the first ternative band, shattering the mold of successful indie bands
  • will never appeal to tweens because __________.
  • Chill wave artists have the opportunity to either ‘plugin to the indie machine’ or move forward into the ternative era.
  • My favorite ternative website is ______________.
  • Gorilla Vs. Bear is generally the breeding ground for ternative artists, but some of the recommendations are too reverby/not poppy enough for me. These selections are possibly too post-ternative for me, the mainstream ternative listener.
  • I am tired of maltstream music sites trying to turn ternative artists into indie artists. They are setting them up to fail.
  • Ternative bands have a shelf life of 1.5 mp3s, but that is okay for me, because they are not overtly ‘trying 2 be indie.’
  • Female bands continued to be indie until 2k12, when the first all-female ternative band was formed. They were weird lesbians.
  • Never will I ever pay for a ternative mp3. I might impulse buy a limited release vinyl.
  • I still listen to indie music, but only on the radio. I also put indie music on mix CDs to impress girls, but eventually introduce them to if they really ‘get’ me.
  • Deerhunter/Atlas sound is an indie band trying to be ternative sometimes.
  • Vampire Weekend’s next album will be predominantly indie, with a few allusions to the current ternative movement.
  • Arcade Fire has written the album of the century.
  • Many music fans were ‘let down’ by the Beach House album because they didn’t know if it was trying to be indie or trying to be ternative.
  • Washed Out’s career was redefined when he decided to focus on being an indie/ternative artist.

I feel like ‘ternative’ has been alive for a while, but we haven’t really had a way to properly ingest it, since we expect everything that is moderately good to evolve into a band.

Ternative is a term/genre name that I have reserved as a descriptive term for music that I consider to be authentic.

We keep on waiting
Waiting on a ternative band 2 come

What will happen 2 indie?

I’m sure every one had a ‘very shitty’ local music scene in their hometown during high school. Sort of like your friend’s shitty band who you had to see play once every month. I think ‘indie’ is probably the term that this high school generation will associate with those shitty acts.

Indie will live on. It is a cute lil term that was made for mainstream success. We can let it be mainstream, and continue to consume it in the same way that we consume the mainstreamest aspects of life.

Still feel like I am ‘waiting’ on a new band to emerge in 2k10, but I feel like the next band to get excited about won’t be ‘just another indie band.’ They will be a Ternative band, ready to help carve our expectations and desires from a band in the post-indie world.

Feels good to move past indie. Like my ears are unplugged, unearbudded, & open. Ready 2 listen 2 music again.

During the indie era, ppl ‘listened with their hearts’ until the heart became 2 cliched, kinda like this pic.

In the ternative era, listeners will approach music with an informed mind.

R u ready 4 ?

How do u feel about the proposed ternative era?
Is ‘ternative’ a ‘dumb’/’silly’ enough genre name to ‘catch on’ [via the shoegaze theory]?
What qualities of ‘ternative’ will prevent it from going mainstream?
Do ternative websites have a ‘ceiling’?
Who will be the biggest band of the next decade?
Is the new bro rock?
What’s ur least fave kind of music journalism?
What is the future of the mega-indie blog/website?
What is a good business+content focus strategy for a formerly indie blog in the 2k10 decade?
Is the ultimate goal of every website just to get ‘mad hits at any cost’? Does this goal work against the music discovery process?
What’s ur fave band?
What kind of music do u listen 2?
What’s ur fave music website?
Will twiter die/overtake the internet?
Does ur brain/heart feel free now that u have moved beyond the indie era?
Has any1 figured out what ‘alternative rock’ means yet?

Shitty Alt Rock Band Fall Out Boy breaks up.

Posted: 03 Feb 2010 06:37 AM PST

Link: http://spin.com/articles/patrick-stump-im-not-fall-out-boy


Some band called Fall Out Boy broke up. I have never really heard any of their songs, since I think they are for tweens chasing the ‘punk sk8r’ personal brand by shopping at Hot Topic.

From what I have read, this band only became popular when Michael Phelps starred in their first music video.

Do u think God will try to break up _______ in 2k10?

Miss u Pete Wentz cock shot + zany alt tummy tattoos.

Kanye West collabs with Brian Wilson & Beach Boys

Posted: 03 Feb 2010 06:15 AM PST


No details yet on this secret collaboration.

/////’developing story’////

What do u think it sounds like? Panda Bear with rapping over it?
Should I buy a blingified plaid shirt?

Orlando Bloom & Agyness Deyn are dating.

Posted: 03 Feb 2010 05:30 AM PST

Link: http://www.pedestrian.tv/news/view/7211/are-orlando-bloom-and-agyness-deyn-a-couple.htm


Not sure if this is true. This gimmick was apparently some ‘high priced’ commissioned photos for some AZN/Chinese fashion label called Me & City.

The Chinese brand hired them + Glorified Alt Photographer bro Terry Richardson to create a shoot that ‘got a lot of blog buzz’ for the brand. Wonder if they were paid ‘millions’ to be the face of the brand.

Seems like the ‘concept’ is being a Hollywood/domesticated couple, sort of like Pete Wentz + Ashlee Simpson, or maybe Nicole Riche + The Good Charlotte bro.

Do u think they would make a good alt couple, or were they better when Agyness Deyn was in a serious relaish with Albert Hammond Jr. [via Green Aggs and Ham]

Even if they aren’t a real couple, do u think they ‘got drunk at an afterpartie & ended up messing around a lil bit after having a lot of chemistry on the set’?

Damn. Orlando Bloom. Not sure if he is Alt, or just another post-JudeLaw Bro.

‘Doritos’ used as secret ingredient on Iron Chef

Posted: 02 Feb 2010 06:45 PM PST

Link: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes-and-cooking/iron-chef-dorito-competition/pictures/index.html


Popular Extreme Brand ‘Doritos’ was used as the ’secret ingredient’ on the popular Food Network show ‘: America.”

This photograph seems like ‘the holy grail’ for bros/minorities who eat doritos and drink colored soda/dank hard on sweet weed schwag.

Might eat this apple crisp 4 dessert.

Not sure if the Food Network really cares abt the Dorito as a legitimate food that makes society better, or if this as some sort of elaborate marketing scheme.

10 Musicians ‘using’ Haiti as a promotional tool

Posted: 02 Feb 2010 06:21 PM PST

Link: http://www.thedailyswarm.com/swarm/we-are-worst-top-ten-most-terrible-artists-helping-haiti/


List of 10 artists who are ‘using’ Haiti as an opportunity to make their brand ’seem more philanthropic.’
List includes the bro from Creed (Scott Stapp), Dave Matthews, Coldplay, Jessica Simpson and The Who.
This post is intended to illustrate how ‘artists’ don’t genuinely care about human crises, and instead use them as an excuse to make/auction/promote their mediocre ‘art.’